You Want To Drink My What???

18 Apr

How does a female CUSTOMER walk out of a strip club drunk, $540 richer without removing one article of clothing? She recruits and donates urine to a very thirsty man who likes to drink PISS!!!

As disgusting as it may sound, I am even more embarrassed to admit this man was MY DATE. After this night I added “Do you drink piss” to my list of common and yet bizarre dating questions I have learned to ask during my years of dating.

I had been dating this man only month, the sex was great but could be better. As always, I was in a feisty and horny mood and suggested we go to a strip club. Besides from admiring beautiful women, I had my own sexual fantasy to fulfill. I am not a jealous woman but I get turned on when I am made jealous. I wanted to get a private room, watch women grab, suck and dry hump his dick and when I couldn’t control it anymore order the women out, dominate and fuck his brains out with the words “Yes Master” only coming from his mouth.

Needless to say, my fantasy was thrown a slight curve ball….

We agreed to sit in the main room near main stage, warm up our sexual tensions, get a few “nice” lap dances and recruit dancers to the private room or sky box as they called it. It was BYOB so we had purchased ice for the beer and shot glasses for the vodka. We later had to purchase beer glasses when we learned the dancers could only drink from a glass to appear more lady-like. (WTF, there is nothing lady like about a strip club.)

When we got settled at our table, I started to prowl for the hot, “bad” girl who would bring out my jealous side. I am very picky when it comes to women. I like mostly brunettes, who can dance, confident in their body, sexy, intelligent, and sophisticated but above all, they MUST be a sexual freak. I know that is high standards to seek with women in general, especially in a strip club, but there were a few women who came close to meeting all of the above.

I was tipping the girls, he was getting close to “blue ball” lap dances and I projected my fantasy would soon be fulfilled, that was until I excused myself to the bathroom….

He grabbed my arm, whispered loudly in my ear above the loud music being played:

“Will you pee in this cup so I can drink it”?

I was taken aback by this odd request and thought surely he is not serious. Hey, game on I thought. I pissed in the glass, carried what looked like beer to our table, set it in front of him and dared him to drink it as he requested.

I was speechless. I didn’t have to ask if he liked it, the look of admiration on his face said it all. I watched him sip my piss as if it was a $150 dollar glass of the finest brandy.

At this time a woman I had tipped on main stage joined our party. I requested she dance for him and she did. He was not into the fully naked woman that was all over his dick as I was. He quickly paid her, invited her to stay by pouring her a beer in a non-piss glass, and he continued to sip what she thought was beer. When my piss was almost gone he whispered in my ear again, “Will you ask her to pee in a cup? I will give her $20 bucks and you $20”.

The ladies were also not allowed to smoke on the floor so I asked if she wanted to go to the bathroom for a smoke break. I followed her, making sure to carry an empty beer glass, we both lit our cigarette when I asked: (NOTE: at this point I mentioned friend, not boyfriend or date.)

“My friend will give you $20 if you pee in this glass so he can drink it?” Whew, I said it I thought.

Stripper: ”What? That’s disgusting! He’s really going to pay me $20 bucks to piss in a cup?”

I nodded yes.

She did it, carried the glass full of piss to the table and collected her $20 bill as did I.

My fantasy was now drifting away. He proclaimed, “No more lap dances”, instead he had PISS on his mind and I was his wing woman. Word must have gotten around in the dressing room because women were happy to donate their piss and collect their $20 bucks. At one point, I had counted 22 glasses of urine sitting on our table for him to drink. He was now chugging the pee like shots, and I was cringing in disgust. At this point, the club went from smelling like pussy and alcohol to reeking of urine, and became a LabCorp instead of a Gentleman’s Club.

Throughout the night he wanted me to sit in his lap, as he drank piss AND often tried to lean in for a kiss!!! NO, I didn’t nor could I do it, he now disgusted me! I wanted to leave, go home, masturbate and never see or talk to the “PISS” drinker again. But first I had to ask the million dollar question myself and all the piss donors wanted to know, “Why do you like drinking piss?”

“When I was twelve, my sister made me drink her pee. It was very erotic and have liked it ever since”.

“Check please”, I yelled. I can’t believe I fucked this man.

As the waitress was getting our check, a manager approached the table and asked us to leave. THANK GOD!!!

Walking out of the club, the “piss drinker” said:

“I don’t know why they asked us to leave. We were very respectful to the dancers. We didn’t do anything wrong”.

The next day I bought five gallons of bleach with the $540 I well-earned, and for a week I soaked and bathed in a bathtub full of bleach.

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5 Responses to “You Want To Drink My What???”

  1. whatidesiredtosay1 April 18, 2012 at 3:07 AM #

    There are no words capable of describing my level of disgust at that!

  2. Toccara April 18, 2012 at 3:50 AM #

    Omg, that’s really nasty. Just…eww. smh.

  3. silly_G April 18, 2012 at 7:37 AM #

    Thats insane! Scarier than the piss, is that it was the sister that got him turned on to it. Has your skin recovered from the bleach bath yet?

  4. pehayes4244 April 18, 2012 at 7:49 AM #

    Lots of lotion and Aloe Vera!
    I’m fighting myself NOT to continue the bleach baths!!

  5. silly_G April 20, 2012 at 6:47 AM #

    haha! Good to know, I have considered a few bleach baths lately too… but nothing close to pee man.

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