Ummm….Thank You I guess…..

28 Apr

I met a podiatrist tonight that I have texted for almost two months. Thankfully he did not try to lip lock me or unzip my blouse because he was NOT my type, nice guy but again not my type. I like my men big and thick (body size not dick, well I guess dick too), NOT 95 pounds and who’s butt cheeks combined is the size of ONE of my breasts, and I’m a petite woman. I have  never seen a man so skinny in my life!!

I stayed 30 minutes, announced I had plans (which I did because I had to write this blog) and without a handshake or hug I left. When I got home he sent me a follow-up text message that I think was a compliment but not sure. I have been compared to a lot of sexual things but never this. Keep in mind this man is a doctor.

Him: Yummy! Tan and juicy!

Me: Juicy?

Him: Yup like a Rotisserie Chicken

Me: How do I compare to a Rotisserie Chicken?

Him: Cause I love 2 eat them

Me: Rotisserie Chicken or pussy?

Him: Chicken

Me: Umm…thanks I guess lol.

Him: I’m jerkin it so not in the right state of mind

WTF???

HOW DO YOU MEN COME UP WITH THIS SHIT??? LMAO

 

23 Responses to “Ummm….Thank You I guess…..”

  1. Paula April 28, 2012 at 7:36 PM #

    Gak. Wtf is wrong with men? It’s like they’re all getting worse. Maybe a virus from another planet? Yes! I think that must be it!!

  2. wrongedandrighted April 28, 2012 at 7:46 PM #

    I needed a laugh today and holy shit, this just made me spit water on my monitor. Sorry it went so badly, but I just lost it, LOL! Thank you for sharing the good and the bad.

  3. lolosofocused April 28, 2012 at 7:52 PM #

    Him: I’m jerkin it so not in the right state of mind— O_o NO! He did NOT say that??

  4. wrongedandrighted April 28, 2012 at 7:52 PM #

    Okay I just read it again because I was sure my eyes decieved me….nope. It’s stil there, ROFL! What a suave guy. I have tears in my eyes right now. WOW!. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard.

  5. pehayes4244 April 28, 2012 at 7:54 PM #

    LMAO!! I’m rolling on the ground right now from your comment

  6. pehayes4244 April 28, 2012 at 7:55 PM #

    Yeah me too, and that did it!!

  7. lolosofocused April 28, 2012 at 8:01 PM #

    Seriously… He’s got some balls-haha balls- to throw that shit out there! Smh…

  8. wrongedandrighted April 28, 2012 at 8:03 PM #

    This is the part that got me, it’s classic…I just pissed my pants (not literally but close) reading it for a third time:

    Him: Yup like a Rotisserie Chicken

    Me: How do I compare to a Rotisserie Chicken?

    Him: Cause I love 2 eat them

    Me: Rotisserie Chicken or pussy?

    Him: Chicken

    You even gave him a chance at redemption but nope….he loves his chicken.

    Never get in between a man and his bird! OMG!

  9. Keith P April 28, 2012 at 8:06 PM #

    OMG! This guy took my line! Oh wait… I wasn’t supposed to admit that, was I?

  10. wrongedandrighted April 28, 2012 at 8:08 PM #

    Reblogged this on walking in shadow and commented:
    This is…it defies description. Romance is not dead! But it just got shot in the kneecap….twice, ROFL!

  11. pehayes4244 April 28, 2012 at 8:11 PM #

    Yeah well if a rotisserie chicken and my pussy was in front of him at least I know what he would choose.

  12. vile April 28, 2012 at 8:33 PM #

    You should read my dating stories , and I like petite women as well, mine is much more scarier.

  13. pehayes4244 April 28, 2012 at 8:35 PM #

    Will do darlin! 🙂

  14. June April 28, 2012 at 9:06 PM #

    that is one weird guy… granted, he does treat feet for a living

  15. pehayes4244 April 28, 2012 at 9:12 PM #

    LMAO, never thought about that! 🙂

  16. danielwalldammit April 28, 2012 at 9:38 PM #

    Let’s see, let’s explore this meme a little bit…

    If you wuz my chicken baby, I’d baste you day and night.

    (no, we can do better than that).

    Hey girl, You’re like a roasted ptarmigan. All butter and covered in spice.

    (I dunno. Lotsa room for improvement. Maybe something simple like…)

    Hey honey, lets see if we can tenderize your drumsticks.

    🙂

  17. pehayes4244 April 28, 2012 at 9:41 PM #

    LOVE IT!!!
    I think the women are playing a little hard to get, or like me tired and don’t want to put in the effort. lol.

  18. danielwalldammit April 28, 2012 at 9:45 PM #

    Well, if I was a lesbian, I would sure say hi to you.

  19. Cakes McCain April 30, 2012 at 2:45 AM #

    Yikes! I’m with you. Wouldn’t want to date a guy who’s ass I could kick.
    Would you like roasted potatoes with that?

  20. kellig April 30, 2012 at 8:33 PM #

    and why the fuck is he whacking it AND texting?! grooooooooss!

  21. pehayes4244 April 30, 2012 at 8:36 PM #

    He texted me today and asked if I would have been offended if if whacked it in front and on me….I said I wasn’t that type of chic….LMAO

  22. evolutionjay May 3, 2012 at 12:43 AM #

    You just cant make this shit up. Five stars.

  23. John the Aussie June 5, 2012 at 2:23 AM #

    and men wonder why women think men are baffoons….

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