This man needs a CUSTOM-MADE glove for his DICK…..latex is NOT enough protection!!!

10 May

I have learned through trial and error during my dating adventure to think outside the box when asking the “getting to know you” questions.

For example, I ask every guy:

1. Are you bi-sexual and or have bi-sexual tendencies?

2. Have you been to prison?

3. Would it turn you on to drink my piss?

4. Do you desire to wear my panties?

Most men laugh and think it’s humorous that I ask such “ridiculous” questions as they call it but if only they knew the shit I have been asked, witnessed and propositioned.

I have now added the following question:

 

What’s your sex number?

A good guy friend of mine recently gave me some VERY wise advice. He said:

“Every man you date and definitely before you sleep with them, ask how many women they have slept with.”

 

What’s the pont, I though? Men are going to lie about it anyways. Yes, I know to multiply the number a guy gives me by 9 which will reveal the ACCURATE number of they’re sexual partners but shit, that’s too much math I care to calculate.

Before I continue I will go ahead and tell you my number. A year go it was 5, when I turned 30 and adopted the sex drive of a 17-year-old boy, my number is now 5+35.

 

Go ahead all onlinedatingjournal haters whom are all women, voice your opinion in the “comments” section of this post that I’m a “whore” OR how “Disgusting” I am. (I do strongly suggest you wait until you read this ENTIRE post before making your judgemental comment.) Bitch, your “whoring” days are just around the corner because most of us are grateful to experience the “sex phase.” Guys you know what I’m talking about. Wink. Wink.

Back in the day when my sex list consisted of one name, it was VERY important to me and asked every guy:

“How many women have you slept with?” I got the following answers:

Guy 1. Nine 9X10=90

Guy 2. Fourteen 9X14=126

Guy 3. Forty 9X40=360

Guy 4. Hundred 9X100=900

 

(I did not continue to date Guy 4 because his number was WAY too high without the calculation.)

 

I recently met a guy from POF for a few drinks and dinner after three hours of texting back and forth. He wasn’t the greatest looking guy that has escorted me but definitely was not ducking and dodging to uphold my image. Aside from already being a very blunt person, he too wasn’t afraid to honestly speak his opinion.  He was also very easy to talk to which is why I didn’t hesitate about asking him questions 1-4 as stated above. (Note: When asking these questions I always observe body language, hesitation, stumbling words, or if he looks away when answering the question.)

“Fuck No,” he proclaimed to all of the above. My observation when asking these questions did not give me a reason to think otherwise.

Then I asked the question my friend recommended I ask:

“How many women have you slept with?

Silence…….

I obviously struck a nerve I thought. I sensed hesitation when he took a deep breath, appeared to be uncomfortable when he looked around thinking of what to say and his body language became very jittery.

He takes a deep breath, takes a few gulps of his beer, leans back in the booth, looks me dead in the eye and says:

“I’m not going to tell you just yet.”

“Why,” I asked?

He is now starting to get a little fidgety and is becoming irritated that I’m being so persistent that he answer the question.

“Can’t you get to know me first before asking me that question,” he pleaded.

I told him it was a fair and appropriate question to ask and reminded him we all go through the “whoring” phase.

He takes another deep breath and chugs the half filled glass of beer until it’s empty and points to the glass for the waiter to see he needs a refill. He leans forward in the booth and says:

“When I was in the military, the pay was horrible making only $1200 a month.”

Okay I thought

“For extra money I started working in porn.”

Okay…..this is getting slightly interesting and or scary, not sure which just yet. I had never met a man who was in porn or one who openly admitted it.

“It was excellent money. They paid 2k a session and you could have four or five sessions in one day,” he said.

Okay……keep going I thought giving him the look………..

“In Korea alone I probably slept with about 4,000 women”

Okay, I was thinking around the ball park number of two-five hundred but……

4,000 women in Korea ALONE?????

HOLY SHIT!!!!

Hell I’m an armature if not almost a virgin when I put my 40 next to his 4000!

Okay, so let’s do the math:

4000 X 9= 36,000

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? I’M SURPRISED HIS DICK HASN’T FELL OFF!!!!

I didn’t bother to ask his TOTAL number, preferred not to know!!

I may be a little” horny whore” these days and hesitant to reach the three digits but NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER will the number of my sexual partners get to the four digits!!!

Someone needs to invent a HEAVY DUTY std glove to put over this man’s dick because latex is NOT enough protection!!!

I wanted to tell him if he ever wants to get laid don’t reveal this number to ANYONE, on the other hand, WOMEN NEED TO KNOW AND BE WARNED!!!

I want to thank my guy friend for suggesting to ask the question that turned out to save my life. I also want to thank this man for giving me an HONEST answer.

I was polite throughout the rest of the date, afterall I owed this man my life for his honesty!! After dinner he walked me to my car and asks:

“Can I see you again?”

I gave him the “Are you fucking serious” look. He got the hint and then asks:

“Do you have any hot, single girlfriends you could hook me up with?”

All you onlinedatingjournal haters, NOW you can tell me I’m how I’m a DISGUSTING WHORE!!

27 Responses to “This man needs a CUSTOM-MADE glove for his DICK…..latex is NOT enough protection!!!”

  1. theforgottenwife May 10, 2012 at 11:40 AM #

    Well, if you’re a whore, then I’m right there with you! Good questions to ask, tho. I’ll have to remember those. Thanks for the tip!

  2. Maria Zarif May 10, 2012 at 12:08 PM #

    Lmfao. No worries, I think in life you will/were called worse. Eh?

  3. 30thoughts May 10, 2012 at 12:41 PM #

    LOVE this post! Most guys I’ve met say 100+ or that they lost count. How would you calculate the number of someone who said they lost count, but it’s around 100?? lol What do you think is a reasonable number for a guy our age?? I’m 32, and I totally know what you mean about the whoring stage! Hitting 30 definitely changes things down there 😉

  4. Carolina Courtland May 10, 2012 at 1:50 PM #

    Where is Kate? She needs to weigh in on this and give you a good lecture.

  5. datingbitch May 10, 2012 at 3:51 PM #

    LMAO!!!! I’m still waiting for her comment. Kate come out, come out where ever you are. You are being called!! LOL

  6. Toccara May 10, 2012 at 4:17 PM #

    LOL!! I can’t believe he seriously came out and admitted that, then asked to see you again. That is crazy.

  7. datingbitch May 10, 2012 at 4:37 PM #

    Good to know I’m not alone 🙂 LOL

  8. datingbitch May 10, 2012 at 4:45 PM #

    LMAO, glad to know I’m not the only woman who has experienced this, I was going out on a limb there LOL.
    100X9=900
    BUT I don’t know, I would probably avoid multiplying 100 by 9 and just add a few more hundred instead. However, if he demonstrates the “player” mentality I would keep to the X9 Rule.

  9. spektakx May 10, 2012 at 5:05 PM #

    got a good laught from this. not all guys numbers need to be multiplied by 9. I’m 38, and still below 20. i must be an ugly muhfuhgger, I guess. i wish I could have stationed in Korea, deezammm! there was like 2 women on 29 palms, and you had to take a number to get at them 😦

  10. datingbitch May 10, 2012 at 5:10 PM #

    Yes, I agree with not always multiplying 9 as stated in my response to the earlier comment.
    “I had to take a number to get at them?” What does that mean? I’m just relating what the man told me.

  11. spektakx May 10, 2012 at 5:15 PM #

    like waiting in line at the dmv, for every woman on on near a military base, there’s a line of guys ten deep trying to take them out. apparently, this doesn’t apply to korea, haha..

  12. datingbitch May 10, 2012 at 5:18 PM #

    I wouldn’t know, never been on a military base or to Korea but the DMV is a fucking BITCH!!!

  13. danielwalldammit May 10, 2012 at 6:58 PM #

    Lol, you crack me up. …and scare me a little.

  14. datingbitch May 10, 2012 at 7:00 PM #

    LOL
    Your not the first guy to say that, curious….why do I scare you?

  15. danielwalldammit May 10, 2012 at 7:05 PM #

    Boundaries and broken hearts must litter the path behind you. Adventure must walk in the door with you, and the very real possibility of finding out just what one’s own limits really are.

    …a beautiful woman who owns her own sexuality. What more could a guy want? And what could be more scary than the possibility of getting exactly what one wants.

  16. datingbitch May 10, 2012 at 7:11 PM #

    Ahhh….I will take that as a compliment.
    I believe I am a man but trapped in a woman’s body with a vagina not a dick of course. I once told that to a guy and he said, “Damn, you’ve got to be the luckiest man alive.” LMFAO!! Good point he made.

  17. danielwalldammit May 10, 2012 at 7:13 PM #

    Lol, my ex-gal said something similar. I think she had different reasons, but she too said she was much like a guy in her behavior.

  18. datingbitch May 10, 2012 at 7:14 PM #

    Was she?

  19. danielwalldammit May 10, 2012 at 7:15 PM #

    In many ways, yes. It was refreshing,

  20. datingbitch May 10, 2012 at 7:16 PM #

    Then I won’t ask why you let her go. 🙂

  21. danielwalldammit May 11, 2012 at 12:16 AM #

    The answer would not do me credit.

  22. Cakes McCain May 11, 2012 at 2:14 AM #

    Whoa. He needs to bring a health certificate on dates, or some sort of new-fangled health-safe asbestos-lined super condom. At first I though those questions were a bit mental, but not now.
    Btw, just wondering – if you were to give your number to someone would you count blow-jobs as sex? (I don’t but some guys thought differently) I don’t think your number is that high. (think it’s about normal really)
    Back in the day Helen Gurley Brown used to say the correct number was 3!

  23. datingbitch May 11, 2012 at 7:04 AM #

    No to blowjobs! I am sure men don’t count include eating pussy to they’re sex number. If blowjobs were to be added to my number than I would be well into the three digits LOL.

  24. snarkatussin May 12, 2012 at 4:45 PM #

    Wow. I have kept myself from asking about his number because I am self-conscious of my own. It’s not terribly high, but if I’m seeing someone who I think has a lower number, I really don’t want to know. I guess it’s something to play by ear on the dates though…

    Also, Question #1. Brilliant. I’m positive my ex had some bi-sexual proclivities. I wonder if he would have answered honestly had I ever asked him…

  25. John the Aussie June 5, 2012 at 5:32 AM #

    That poor barstard, over 4000 women?? seriously wait until the kids start rolling in by the convoy load of buses asking to play catch….

  26. datingbitch June 5, 2012 at 6:46 AM #

    LMAO!!!! Yeah remember that number was ONLY in Korea.

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