Is the wife PISSED? Hand her bleach and pine sol!!

20 May

I think I should change my blog slogan to, “What’s wrong with you women?”

I’m a woman and I don’t understand the female gender. I get a call from a male friend who needed a someone to talk to as he walked out of the house and the wife screamed in the background:

“You fucking asshole” and “Where are you going?” and “You always run from our problems.”

Don’t worry the wife wasn’t pissed because she thought I was fucking her husband, THANK GOD!! Instead this particular wife was mad because he left the lid of the milk carton on the kitchen counter before he put it back in the fucking refrigerator.

Seriously?

And she wanders why he’s leaving the house? Who would want to stay and listen to this shit for leaving the top off the milk carton???

In unnecessary and nonsense fights like this almost always the man leaves the domain to clear his head and to give the wife time to “cool off”, when he really wants to strangle the bitch and hit the “divorce” button that is if one were to exist.

An hour later the “wife” is texting him saying she’s “sorry”, begging him to come back home and when he does she’s still giving him the cold shoulder and the “fuck you” look.

Sound familiar?

Why do you need a doctorate’s degree to become a psychologist to figure this shit out? I don’t get it.

Women need to just shut the fuck up and walk away, or leave the house and come home a few hours later with 10 new pairs of shoes that the husband would normally complain about but would not at all care if it successfully shut the bitch up.

Or

Women need to adopt MY mind-set and ask themselves, “What would Priscilla do?”

In every live-in relationship I have had the “spouse” would make sure the “back-up” supplies of bleach and pine sol were well stalked.

I may push men away before we get to the “relationship” stage but after the committment has been made, I have learned to shut the fuck up.

When pissed, and I mean ROYALLY pissed, no matter what the circumstance and reasoning may be, if the “spouse” comes home and or seeing me with bleach and pine sol in my hand aggressively cleaning the house he knows to leave me the fuck alone.

After a few hours of deep cleaning and sweating my anger away I am now too tired to remember what the fuck I was mad about in the first place. I will then lay in the arms of my ‘spouse” tell him I love him and probably fuck his brains out to relieve any excess anger I may have

The result:

1. He didn’t leave the house.

2. I didn’t bow down and say “I’m sorry”

and

3. No hurtful words were exchanged.

SO WHY DON’T YOU WOMEN UNDERSTAND AND COMPREHEND THIS SIMPLE YET COMMON SENSE LOGIC?

Oh, yes I forget….because us women are fucking drama queens!!!

The only reason to bitch at your spouse and piss him off is if your sole intention is for the ‘make-up” sex. That I can’t argue with, it FUCKING GREAT!!!

8 Responses to “Is the wife PISSED? Hand her bleach and pine sol!!”

  1. More Than A Blonde May 20, 2012 at 11:16 PM #

    Hell yes! That is the one of the best ways to get over being pissed. I’m totally the same way. And like you I cannot comprehend 90% of the crap the female population pulls.

  2. datingbitch May 20, 2012 at 11:18 PM #

    Amen to that sista!!

  3. twindaddy May 21, 2012 at 5:36 AM #

    You guys should write a book then. It’s amazing what most women will get pissed about.

  4. lolosofocused May 21, 2012 at 6:12 AM #

    One of the 1st things I was taught by my mom- “Pick and choose your battles” period. I’m all for bitching when someone fucked up. You gotta let them know… BUT how important is it to argue about every single fucking thing?? Me? I mastered the blank stare… And bitch brow, before you know it I’m getting apoligized to for all kinds of dumb shit. 😉

  5. heff May 21, 2012 at 9:04 AM #

    I haven’t been happily married for 30 years without learning the value of compromise. Hey, if it is important to me, I mean REALLY REALLY important then look out. Jesus Christ himself couldn’t tell me what to do, but 9 times out of 10, it isn’t really, really important to me. If it is important to my wife? then hell yeah, I can compromise. The wife reads my face. If she starts on about something and I have that “STFU or I WILL kill you and bury you in the garden” look she tends to back down 😀 (i’m playing 🙂 I love the girl and luckily we have the same kind of morals. We may not like the same things in life, which most people seem to think is important, but our core values are the same.

  6. makingredwishes May 21, 2012 at 9:59 AM #

    and #4. The house is clean!!!!
    This cracked me up because I am a clean freak but I REALLY clean when I am pissed. So when my house is clean it is normal, when the house SMELLS clean, lol LOOK OUT! LOL Your post cracked me up because that is SOOO ME!

  7. theforgottenwife May 21, 2012 at 1:28 PM #

    This is why I don’t enjoy hanging out with women as much as I enjoy hanging out with men – the drama! Freaking ridiculous! Good Lord! Good ideas, though, if I ever get back into a relationship! LOL

  8. John the Aussie June 5, 2012 at 6:56 AM #

    Our biggest argument, which by the way will top a discussion of quantum physics any day, is who’s turn it is to make the coffee…

    Anything else, gets put on the job list with no words spoken… “Put milk back in the DOOR of the fridge” “Mow Lawn” “Clean gutters” TELL ME WHEN THERE IS NO MILK LEFT” “Your marks on the toilet bowl, you clean them”

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